I am on the far side of the valley

and man, the view is much better from here. The chemo infusion itself really wasn't bad on Friday afternoon but by evening I was absolutely miserable, Saturday was a terribly long day, Sunday was *horrible*, and Monday I slept for 17 hours, and still thought it would never end. They warn you about fatigue, but there's no way that they can make it clear just how wiped out you'll feel, or how depressing it will be to be that exhausted hour after hour, and how unrefreshed you'll feel after sleeping.

But as I said, I'm feeling better now. I was actually able to get up and go to school and go for a walk today. Yippee, me.

It's going to be harder going back to chemo next week, though, knowing how it's going to kick my ass. However, we've been keeping a log and are already thinking of ways to make this more bearable and to, at the very least, plan around it.

So far, chemo is kicking my ass. I'm not in enormous pain, but I'm miserable and uncomfortable, and can't stand or sit or lie down for more than a few minutes before I need to try something else.

And therefore, I'm not really fit for any sort of interaction -- I'm cranky and whining like crazy. Wish me luck this gets better. More later.

Despite the fact that my left breast is still nearly the size of a bowling ball, they've finally decided the infection is on the run, and I'm ready for my first chemo. It was supposed to be today, but at the last minute, someone reread the clinical trial protocol more closely and realized I needed a CAT scan first.

So today, I get my chest port put in (joy); tomorrow, I have a CAT scan at 2:30 (and yes, that means I don't get to eat or drink anything but water all freakin' day), and then My First Pony Chemo at 3:30.

The rainy gray skies outside rather perfectly reflect my feelings: the rain is a *good* thing; we're practically in drought here...but sheesh, how yucky.

More tomorrow, I'm sure.

Still waiting...

Thursday the 14th *should* be my first chemo, but we're still not certain that it will happen. I'm still showing a fair amount of infection in my left breast -- among other things, it's quite startlingly larger than the other -- despite being on my third different type of antibiotic this month. But I have made some progress. I've finally crossed all of the t's and dotted the i's to get into a clinical trial. More details after Tueday, which is my rescheduled Chemo 101 class.

Last Wednesday, I started my first 2 weeks of observation for my teaching degree. (And Mom sent me an adorable First Day of School card!) We'll have many more observation periods, leading up to our student teaching, next fall. This time, I'm at Aki Kurose Middle School, 6-7 miles down Rainier ave from here. It's not a rich school by any means, but the teachers are obviously working hard, and the students are largely very cool. They wear uniforms, but very simple ones -- any style of black or dark blue pants (except jeans, of course), and any type of plain white shirts with collars (i.e., no t-shirts) -- and it seems to work.

In non-boring-health-related news: the uber project of the summer, the house painting is finished! By the end of it, we'd begged virtually every friend we have to come and help, rented scaffolding, and practically turned into monkeys getting all of the high parts done. It's a relief to be finished, but even without it, we're still busy: I'm still working as many hours as I can at Microsoft (did I mention that tuition is $3000 a quarter?); catching a bus to Aki each morning at 6am, and going by the hospital 2 or 3 times a week to get my breast drained (yes, just as much fun as it sounds). As soon as we finish the AIDS walk today, I'm really looking forward to a quiet weekend.

Re the AIDS walk -- it's not too late to donate, and as far as I know, they'll take donations as small as $5: just click here to give.

Actual classes at the U of W start Sept. 26th. If nothing else, it will be a much shorter commute.

And ack -- I just realized I've forgotten Viv's birthday. Hmm, I should send her a note!